The Story of Liz Truss: A Legend In Her Own Lunchtime

If you have the attention span of a sparrow with ADD, you'll be enthralled K.B. Cottrill's six-page biography of British Prime Minister Liz Truss

Lis Truss: she came, she spoke and she left.

In The Story of Liz Truss: A Legend in Her Own Lunchtime, K.B. Cottrill does a masterful job of packing the former Prime Minister’s brief tenure in 10 Downing Street into six thrill-starved pages, including a forward by an unknown person with nothing to say.

The story begins with Liz Truss in her role as Minister for the Union, where she achieves little and builds a reputation for not having a reputation.

After several underwhelming years in office, she catches the attention of Conservative Party bigwigs who have an eye for talentless people. They decide to appoint her as Prime Minister, with a brief to rescue the UK from the chaos caused by her knucklehead predecessor Boris Johnson, who was also appointed by the clueless bigwigs.

Truss is suddenly plucked from Obscurity, which is so relieved to be rid of her that it pops a bottle of bubbly.

Truss wastes no time putting her meager political skills to work. She introduces policies that take a chainsaw to the UK’s world standing, fires the hapless stooge she hired to launch them, and promptly disowns the policies as if someone else had farted them.

As the value of the British pound approaches that of a squeezed lemon, the Conservative Party bigwigs begin to sense that something might be going awry.

Smelling blood, the political vultures begin to circle. They circle and circle, find absolutely nothing of interest, swap anecdotes about the state of the housing market, get bored, and fly off to watch a slasher movie on Netflix.

The book’s finale is as gripping as a compendium of park benches. The bigwigs abandon Truss, and she resigns and takes a job as Associate Assistant Deputy Under Minister and Office Cleaner at the UK Ministry of Lost Causes. Boris Johnson is re-appointed Prime Minister by the bigwigs who have forgotten they gave him the job before. The book suggests that Truss will bide her time at the Ministry of Lost Causes until Boris Johnson is sacked again, and the bigwigs forget who she is and reappoint her as Prime Minister of the UK.

Critics are hailing the story of Truss’s rise, fall, further fall, stumbles, blunders, and descent into oblivion as one of the most mindless political sagas of our time.

“The book teaches us that the destiny of politicians like Liz Truss is written in the stars,” proclaimed the Economist. “One of those near-invisible constellations no one knows about with a name like RT392.”

“The book chronicles the kind of sweeping narrative and drama that William Shakespeare would have captured in a thank you note,” says The Guardian.

The Washington Post is even more gushing. “This is a book you can take to the bathroom, finish, and still have enough time to read the labels on your cleaning products. The ingredients list of bathroom tile mold remover is riveting by comparison.”

And The Observer predicts that “this biography will definitely make the New York Times non-seller list.”

Media companies around the world are vying to ignore the film rights for the book. There are rumors that Liz Truss might be played by a toaster if a movie gets off the ground.